


Straight Shooting

by Humanities_Last



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-War, Alternate Universe - World War I, Alternate Universe - World War II, Angst, F/M, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 15:02:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4568952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Humanities_Last/pseuds/Humanities_Last
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Historical AU: Contrary to popular belief, men can get quite lonely while they are away at war. The seek the companionship of others who calm them, and relationships aren't surprising between two males. Why not go for it, when at any second they could die? </p><p>Levi finds it downright annoying when he is constantly pressured to find a companion. That's not what he believes. He only wants a relationship based on love and trust, not lust. That's why he's content waiting for his beautiful fiance, Petra Ral.</p><p>But when he saves a bright eyed brat, he's forced to re-evaluate his thoughts on a relationship. Will he go with the brat...or wait for his fiance?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. No Man's Land

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to Straight Shooting. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> A couple of things before we start. Warnings include major character death, male x male relationships, and violent descriptions of war.
> 
> I do not own Shingeki No Kyojin.

_20 March, 19XX_

_Dear Petra-_

_We've moved again. Our squadron was deployed to France (what irony. I thought I was done with that hellhole. At least I can talk with these fuckers.), and now we're sitting by the river in the one thing I hate the most. Trenches. Our squadron, 101st Airborne (I am writing this down partly because I want a place I can be attached to, partly because when I die you can ask them for my cold, dead body. A tiny one at that.), has been attached to three other squadrons, one French, one British, and another American. We all are so tired and ready to leave, but the Germans hold us back._

_God, I wish they would all die._

_If I die, I don't expect you to wait for me. It was a stupid mistake on my part, really. I shouldn't have proposed when I knew I'd be drafted. But…I guess I was worried I would lose you. I never want to lose you, Petra._

_We've gotten more men on our squadron. I honestly didn't want any more men to control, but do I have a choice? Do any of us have a choice? Did the child I saw be orphaned have a choice in losing his parents?_

_No. We live in a cruel world._

_I never know how to cut off these letters, and I will not make empty promises to you. Because you don't deserve that._

_I love you, Petra._

_All my love,_

_Levi Ackerman,_

_1st SSgt of the 101st Airborne and rifle squadron_

….

He finishes writing his letter and folds the crisp paper with a tired sigh, dragging a dirtied hand down his face. Gunther ducks his head down from his dugout to look at him, eyes tired and weary.

"Squad Leader, the new men are here," Gunther informs him, and Levi bites back a groan as he stands. The heavens pour down on them today and Levi wonders if it is a bad omen. He looks up to the skies before his silver gaze slides to a young Frenchman, probably on his way to his section of the trench.

"Francis, je tiens à ce que cette letter soit envoyée quand le soleil se levera demain. Compris?" He holds the letter up and the young man nods, taking the letter, gaze adverted.

He cracks his fingers and steps back when Gunther hops down from his dugout, helmet latched and protecting the soldier from the harsh rain.

"They're on the other side," Gunther tells him with an apologetic smile.

Levi stares at him darkly for a moment before roughly grabbing his helmet, plopping it on his dampened raven locks with an irritated look.

"Well? Let's go then." Since the bastards are too lazy to throw the fuckers into a better, somewhat safer spot.

The two make their way towards the other side of the trenches, catching up with Erwin Smith, the Squad Leader of the American squadron, and also the Commander of the Airforce squadron on France's soil. The tall man with the good looks and two-toned hair is no stranger to his squadron, and Levi can recount many stories of training with Erwin, his distracting cheekbones cutting through many leader's hearts and his eyebrows thick enough to constipate the enemies.

"How many men are you getting?" Erwin asks him, and Levi shrugs, eyebrow twitching in annoyance when his helmet dumps water onto his already damp uniform.

"Five I think. I lost half the squad on our last move. Those fuckers ahead of us said they would protect us, but when the Germans started shooting they ran away like the little shits they are."

Erwin nods, offering no apologies. Why would you apologize for the deaths of others? There are more men dropping like flies than the government can supply.

Levi could mourn the deaths. He really could. But he has no time to mourn – no time to be weak.

When he was home, safe in Petra's arms, then he would be able to cry and shout and curse God for taking away innocent lives.

The three slide past tight passways, now in the Frenchmen's territory, finally given some relief from the downpour. Frenchmen step to the sides as they pass, a couple nodding their heads in salute to Levi and Erwin. Erwin smiles tiredly at the men while Levi ignores them, slamming his helmet against a light above one man's dugout, where a blond and brunet were kissing breathlessly, the blond half naked.

He pauses to crouch down, glaring down at the two men locked in a passionate embrace. "Il y a des hommes qui se rendent malades, debout dans la pluie en attendant que ces putains d'Allemands se bougent le cul, et vous deux êtes ici, à essayer d'entrer dans le froc de l'autre parce que vous êtes tous les deux trop égoïstes!" Levi hisses, kicking the blond in the back. "Sortez de là et allez aider ceux qui en ont besoin!"

The blond and brunet nod and get dressed, both annoyed and a little fearful in front of the short man. Levi stands and dons his helmet once more, more annoyed than before.

Gunther quietly walks ahead of the two Squad Leaders, remembering the time Levi had yelled at him when he and Erd had tried at an intimate relationship.

Erwin steps back, closer to Levi, and the shorter man ignores the blond's sigh.

"Levi…why are you so harsh with these men? They want the comfort. It's not like they are killing each other. Why don't you find a man as well? I'm sure there are many willing to be with you-"

Erwin doesn't fight the shorter man when he slams him back against the rock wall, shaking with restrained anger.

"Find a man? Cheat on my fiancé?" Levi growls, gripping Erwin's uniform hard enough to tear it. "I have no problem with men finding comfort in other men. I don't care if they go at it every damn night like you and Mike. For fucks sake Erwin, you're halfway across the camp from me and I can hear you both clear as day! If you're trying to scare away the Germans, keep doing what you're doing because even I wouldn't want to be anywhere near you two."

He takes a breath and his grip slackens slightly.

"What I have a problem with is seeing these men, strong, capable of fighting, fucking each other in broad daylight. Have some damn restraint for God's sake! Wait until we are not under the line of fire before getting into someone's pants! _Is that too much to ask for_?!"

His voice carries throughout the underground tunnels and the men stop to stare at him, some in understanding, others just scared of his fury.

Erwin gingerly plucks his lithe fingers from his uniform and straightens the torn clothes with a clear of his throat. "Understood. At least be a little more gentle when you do though, please?"

Levi stares at him in utter resentment before turning on his heel and storming after Gunther without a word to the other.

…

He covers his right ear, hardly flinching when the riflemen duck down as the Germans retaliate with their own rain of fire. He looks up to see the new soldiers huddled together, eyes wide and frightened, and he curses under his breath.

_Of course we get the ones that have never seen a wounded man before. What luck._

"Erwin Smith! Your charges are-" A commander starts yelling out the names of Erwin's charges amidst the screams of the bullets and he rolls his eyes, ducking down when one rifleman falls down to land in front of him, dead.

Levi ignores the man's pained eyes and looks up to see the man's companion taking over his spot, another soldier rising up to feed the monster its bullets.

Erwin's charges quickly get down into the trenches, and Erwin smiles at them and yells something lost to the sounds of war. Levi steps to the side to let the newbies pass, nodding to some brave enough to make eye contact with them.

The rain pounds down harder than ever and he vaguely wonders how the riflemen know where to shoot. But then he remembers when he was in their spot, shaking and absolutely terrified, tired and sick and ready to go home.

_You just do what you know. And if you shoot to the sky, God Damnit you do it because then you'll feel like you're actually doing something right for once._

He looks up to the commander and suddenly a bomb rocks their trenches to the core. He drops to the mud, heart pounding wildly. The riflemen shout to each other, gather their bearings, and allow the grenadiers to take over.

Levi crouches up and holds a hand out to one of his charges, a blond head that looks like a girl. He pulls the boy down, and the boy shakily introduces himself as Armin Arlert.

"A pleasure, I'm sure," he snaps, pushing the boy to the ground. "I'm your leader, Levi Ackerman, and if you want to live, you'll do what's smart and keep your ass on the ground."

The boy nods, voice cracking in fear as he lies flat on the ground, pale face darkened by the bloodied mud.

Levi pulls two other boys, Jean Kirstein (He knows that boy is an arrogant asshole from the start. Maybe this attack will force him to grow a pair and stuff it.), and Marco Bodt (A kind kid. Levi is thoroughly surprised when the boy shouts that he is a grenadier.) to the ground and ducks once more when the Germans attack with bombs.

He looks up in shock when a couple riflemen shout angrily at a hotheaded boy who has latched onto the side of the trench, gun cocked and at the ready. Levi curses under his breath when he realizes the boy is actually trying to get into No Man's Land.

" _Oi! Brat!_ " he shouts, standing up at the most dangerous time. The Fritz must have seen him move because not a second later, his head is their new target. He ducks back down once more and grabs the boy's foot, pulling him down.

There isn't much resistance from the boy. Really, how can he fight when the walls are made of mud and basically pointless in this downpour.

The boy falls to the ground and with the mud making him unsteady, he falls after the boy, landing on him painfully, Levi's elbow hitting his stomach none too gently.

" _You idiot_ ," Levi shouts, pushing himself up to glare at the boy. His green eyes glow in anger and excitement and Levi stares at him angrily, although slightly dumfounded at his expression.

" _What the fuck were you doing?!_ " Levi slaps his face, helmet falling off to hit the boy on the head. Levi's raven locks fall down to cover his eyes, wet strands hitting his face. He irritably pushes the hair back to glare down at the excitable boy once more.

"I wanted to get on the field, sir!" the boy tells him, and Levi looks at him, incredulous. He tries some of Erwin's breathing exercises but after 30, he says fuck it and grabs the boy's collar, shaking him hard, silver eyes glowing in unadulterated anger.

" _You what?! Are you fucking me right now?!_ " he all but screams, ignoring the riflemen around them. " _I want you to stay in your dugout when we get back and I don't want to see your damn face until I need your ass to die. Am I understood?!_ "

The boy doesn't blink an eye at his outburst, a cheeky grin spreading across his childish, muddied face.

"Understood sir!"

"What is your name, you pain in the ass?" Levi calms himself now, and the rain has slowed to a soft drizzle, the war in front of them calming to a dulled roar.

The boy's eyes glow even brighter as he sits up, saluting him, not even flinching when his helmet wobbles and falls down in front of his turquoise gaze. Levi moves to crouch next to the troublemaker, pushing the brunet's helmet back up.

"Eren Jaeger, sir! An honor to serve with you!"

_Petra,_

_You always said I was a calm, caring man._

_Oh, grant me the patience to deal with this fucking idiot._

_Otherwise he's going to get us all killed._

_....._

_A/N: My French beta can be found[here.](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4505808/)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Francis, je tiens à ce que cette letter soit envoyée quand le soleil se levera demain. Compris?
> 
> Francis, I want this letter sent when the sun rises its ugly face tomorrow. Understand?
> 
> Il y a des hommes qui se rendent malades, debout dans la pluie en attendant que ces putains d'Allemands se bougent le cul, et vous deux êtes ici, à essayer d'entrer dans le froc de l'autre parce que vous êtes tous les deux trop égoïstes! Sortez de là et allez aider ceux qui en ont besoin!
> 
> Sortir et vous aider!
> 
> There are men who are getting sick, standing out in the rain as they waiting for one fucking German to move and you two are in here, trying to get into the other's pants because you both are too damn selfish!
> 
> Get out there and help!


	2. Carla Jaeger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi finds himself trying not to kill a certain brat, and learns the truth of Carla Jaeger.

_31, April, 19XX_

_Dear Petra-_

_We were ambushed and pushed back another hundred yards. Luckily no men were lost. This time._

_I got some new men and, per routine, I'll explain them all to you. Not too many to report this time._

_Rifleman Armin Arlert. I doubt the kid has shot a person in his life. He's the shortest one from the four that I got, yet his brains make up for it. And he's still taller than me. Damnit._

_Erwin absolutely loves the kid and I am tempted to dump the kid in his hands. Then I'd only have to worry about 10 other people. Huh. That's a thought._

_Next I have Rifleman Jean Kirstein. French descent. How do I know? His cocky attitude. He really reminds me of a horse. I fed him the oats that we feed the horses and get this; he said they were really good. If that isn't a sign, I don't know what is._

_Grenadier Marco Bott is the horse's friend and the one that actually keeps the idiot in line. I actually like Bott. He respects me and actually fucking_ _**listens** _ _to what I tell him to do._

_I plan to protect this angel for as long as I can and bring him home to show you._

_And finally. The laughing stock of my entire squadron._

_The German Rifleman. Eren Jaeger._

_Remind me to kill him when I won't get in trouble._

_This kid has given me such a headache, and it's only been a day. A new record. Oluo took five._

_The damn kid tried to get into No Man's Land two minutes after he joined my squadron. I think the kid is really just trying to get killed quickly._

_I…I really love you Petra._

_Send my regards to my parents. I send a bloodied kiss your way._

_All my love,_

_Levi Ackerman_

_1st SSgt of the 101st Airborne and rifle squadron_

…..

"Line up!" Levi shouts, placing his recently written note in his breastpocket as he hops out of his dugout. He ignores the men's groans and grumbles as they wake up and he moves to the washroom, splashing cold water on his face before turning to face his charges, who were lined up along the wall of the trench, bleary eyed and yawning.

_One, two, three, four, f-wait, where's blondie? Ah there. Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, e-_

"Someone care to explain where Jaeger is?" He all but growls, silver gaze cutting deep into the men's souls.

The blond one, Arlert, timidly raises his hand.

"Speak, Arlert, if it's worth my time." He barks.

"Sir, yes, sir!" Arlert shouts, saluting him as he shifts his azure gaze hazily above Levi's head. "Soldier Jaeger is still sleeping, sir!"

Levi's eyebrow twitches in annoyance.

"Elaborate, Arlert,  _why_  the  _lovely_  Jaeger is still sleeping."

Arlert swallows nervously and nods.

"He said he wasn't feeling well, sir!"

"At ease, soldier." Levi sighs wearily, insides seething in anger. "All of you meet up with Sargent Smith and receive breakfast. Meet back here at 0700 hours. Dismissed."

His charges salute him before heading off through the narrow passageways of the trenches. He should be with them, grabbing a much needed cup of steaming hot coffee.

But no.

He had to go kick an idiot's ass.

…

His temper goes from bad to worse when he sees the mess of brown hair poking out from the crappy government given blankets. With a grunt he jumps down from the side of the trench to land in front of Eren Jaeger's dugout.

He's about to yell at the teenager when Eren turns to face him, brow furrowed and drool running down his chin. He snorts, a smirk ripping across his muddied face.

_This could be fun._

Levi leans against the dirt wall and watches the young man, interested to see what he does.

"Mmph…L…" Eren moans and Levi straightens, eyebrows arching up in surprise.

"L…Levi…"

_He did not just fucking moan my name._

" _Eren fucking Jaeger I will give you three seconds to get out of your bed and standing before I make your asshole meet your mouth_." He growls, muddied foot kissing Jaeger's face.

Jaeger's eyes snap open in panic and he shouts, pushing Levi's foot off of his face as he jumps out of his dugout, saluting him…well…the wrong way.

Levi taps his shoulder with the butt of his gun, forcing the young man to turn around to face him. "You idiot. The wall is not superior to me."

"Sorry sir!" Jaeger shouts, eyes still wide.

"Hmm. You can start by making your bed and actually start looking like an actual human being."

"Sir yes sir!" Jaeger nods, saluting him once more before rushing over to his dugout to start making his bed painstakingly nice.

"So  _Jaeger_." Levi growls, leaning against the dirt wall to watch him. "Mind explaining why you weren't up when the sun reared its ugly ass?"

Eren freezes slightly. "I-I made a mistake sir! It won't happen again!"

"It won't happen again. And you want to know why?" Levi leans forwards, face a mere inch from Jaeger's.

"Because. If I ever find out that you have slept in as long as you want…I will make sure that your mother gets a box as big as my fist sent back to her, containing all that they could find of her precious son. Get it?"

Jaeger looks up finally, fierce eyes locking to his.

"My mother is dead, sir." Is the only thing he says.

….

The story of Eren Jaeger. As told by the brat himself.

Levi leans against the opposite wall to listen to the German boy, oddly silent as the boy recounts his tale from the confinements of his dugout.

"My parents came from Germany when they were first married." Eren recalls, looking down at his untied boots. He knocks them together, trying to buy time while honestly trying to clean the forever muddied shoes. "They had only been in the States for a couple of months before I was born. My father was a loved doctor so one day he went for a house call and never came back. He's not dead, he just…" Jaeger looks up and sighs, scratching the back of his neck. "He just…left…"

Levi says nothing but crosses his legs and leans back against the wall once more, eyes feigning disinterest.

"My mom…" Eren swallows hard here. He cracks a smile and a soft laugh. " _Mütterchen_ , like I always called her…well…she went to sleep one day…and never woke up." Jaeger shrugs and moves to stand, but one look from Levi forces him back down.

He steps forwards, planting a foot on Jaeger's shoulder as he glowers down at him.

"You're forcing me to miss my morning cup of tea and coffee, to tell me that your mother "went to sleep one day and never woke up"? I call bullshit. Sit your ass back down and tell me the damn truth Jaeger."

Eren smiles slightly instead, a soft chuckle escaping his dried lips.

"You do care, sir."

Levi glares at him, foot digging in harder into the teenager's shoulder. "Of course I care, not because of some sappy reason. But because I literally care about every one of my charges. Now out with it."

"What about your parents?"

Eren swallows hard when Levi's gaze turns darker and more sinister. He unconsciously flinches and moves back when Levi leans in closer, voice dark and evil.

"The only ones that know about my parents are dead. And you'll be next if you find out."

…

"E-Eren's mother?" Arlert looks up from his book, the light above him attracting pests of the night and the occasional night bird. Levi looks up in disgust at the insects that swarm the light and gingerly sits down at the edge of Arlert's dugout. "W-why are you asking sir?"

Levi sharply looks at him, fixing his dirtied cravat with a clear of his throat. "Are you questioning me, soldier?"

"O-of course not sir! I just…Eren has told me not to tell anyone. It's been hard since Mrs. Jaeger has passed away."

"Listen to me, and listen closely, Arlert. That brat has been wasting my time since he got here. I haven't gotten a straight answer from him since day one, and I think, as his commanding officer, I at least deserve to know the truth. If you do not answer me when I ask another question, I will personally make sure that you do not leave my line of sight for the next three months. Are we clear, soldier?"

Armin looks at him, eyes wide in unadulterated fear and Levi leans closer, eyes glinting in the night light.

"Are. We. Clear."

"Y-yes sir!"

"Good. Then tell me what happened to Mrs. Jaeger."

Carla Jaeger had apparently been ambushed just outside of her house right after the war started three years ago, by men who thought she was helping the Germans. They beat, raped, and beheaded her before placing her head on the doorstep outside of her house, where her young son, Eren, who was 16 at the time, found her head when he came home from school that afternoon. They never recovered the rest of her body and the police never started a full investigation to find her body or her killers.

All because she was a German immigrant.

"Eren said he wanted to destroy all of the Germans that tainted his mother's name and reputation so he could repay her." Armin sighed, removing his glasses as he tucked his book away, since it was nearing curfew. "That's all I know sir. Eren should be returning soon."

Levi nods, standing as he pats Arlert's shoulder. "Thank you for your honesty. Rest well, soldier."

…..

He walks past the newest soldiers, ignoring the soft moans that come from Bodt's darkened dugout. One glance at the labeled uniform that lay before the mouth of the dugout tell him that the sloppy bastard is none other than the horse Kirstein.

Levi makes a mental note to punish the horse for his sloppiness the next morning and snorts as he continues on.

_Isn't that basically considered bestiality?_

He hears the soft pants from behind him before he sees the person and when a moon-covered hand reaches out to touch him; Levi swings around and grabs the hand, jerking it hard to the right before slamming the culprit against the dirt wall.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, Damnit Levi! Let me go!" Eren growls, voice muffled by the dirt. Levi glares and pushes the teenager harder into the dirt.

"Is that any way to be treating your superior? And you should've expected just as much, considering you snuck up on me. You're lucky I didn't shoot you."

"Just let me goooooo!"

"Because you didn't use your manners, I think I won't." Levi grabs his arms and swings him around, forcing him onto the ground.

Eren tilts his head to the side to glare up at the older man, trying to wiggle out of his hold. "Why the fuck are you even doing this?!"

Levi glares just as darkly down at the German boy. "Why didn't you tell me the truth about your mother?"

Eren freezes, staring up at him. "Y…you know?"

"Of course I know. Why didn't you just tell me?"

Jaeger stares at him for a long moment before growling and kicking Levi's legs out from under him, rolling to the side as Levi falls down and forces the older man onto his back, straddling his hips as he holds his arms to the side.

Levi stares up at the enraged teenager, uncaring and eyes dulled. "You'll die if you do this for any longer, Jaeger."

" _Just shut up!"_  Eren shouts, voice ringing in the cold darkness. " _You don't understand. You don't know me! You don't know my family! You had absolutely no right to ask about me or my mother!_ "

"I have every right. I am the man that will tell you when you die and when you live. You should fear me."

"I want to. Oh, how I want to. But I-"

"But what?" Levi taunts, a nasty smirk snarling through his deadened lips. "Why can't you fear me, Jaeger-"

" _Because I love you!_ "

They both pause, Levi's uncaring façade cracking in shock. Eren glares down at him, tears dripping down to hit Levi's cheeks, unfazed that he just confessed to something so taboo, so sinful.

"I don't know why I do. And honestly I don't care. But I love you so  _fucking much it hurts. I haven't loved anyone this much since my mother was alive. I didn't tell you about her because every time, every goddamn time I speak her name, I see her head on our doorstep. That's not who she is. That's not who I want to remember. And I don't want any pity. So don't give it to me._ "

Levi's shocked look has slowly left and he stares up at the teenager once more and sighs. "I get it, I really do. But can you let me go-"

Levi is cut off when the hot-headed German leans down and captures his lips in a tantalizing dance. Levi freezes, breath halting in shock, and Eren pries his lips open slowly with his tongue, dazzling eyes slowly closing.

Stopping his fight, Levi's eyes slowly flutter shut, and he kisses the teenager back.

_I haven't kissed anyone like this since-_

Levi's eyes fly open in a panic, realization setting in at what he's done.

Since Petra.

_My fiancé._

_The one that I am cheating on right now with the sworn bane of my existence._

Levi lifts his legs up and kicks the German straight in the stomach. Eren coughs hard, falling back onto his ass as he glares up at his senior. Levi stands quickly and brushes off some dirt and grass, straightening his uniform and hair, hands visibly shaking.

"What the hell, sir?! I thought you liked that! You kissed me back just as much as I was kissing you! I thought-" Eren stops when the muzzle of Levi's gun kisses his lips, where Levi's lips still haunt the teenager.

"I am going to say this once, and only once." Levi growls, crouching down to Eren's height. "I have a fiancé back home who has gone through so much  _shit_  for me and she  _does not_  deserve this. She does not deserve my cheating on her because I can't keep my lust for myself. You are repulsive. I don't want to see your face again. I am a  _straight_  man with dreams for a future with my _wife_ , a  _woman_ , and we will have  _children_ , and I will be able to sleep at night because I know deep in my heart, that I never slept with a  _man_  behind her back. If you thought we could have a nice little relationship with flowers and little smiles on our faces, I'm sorry but you're mistaken. I am not  _available_. I never  _will_  be. So take your little crush and move on to some else. I am nothing but your commanding officer, to whom you will kiss my feet because you are so grateful that I care for your sorry ass. Am I understood?"

Eren Jaeger glares up at him, eyes burning bright in anger.

Levi presses the muzzle of the gun harder into the dried lips of the teenager. " _Am I understood?_ "

Eren growls and opens his mouth, taking the muzzle of the gun in-between his teeth.

"Understood,  _sir_."

….

"C-connie!" Arlert yelps, fixing his glasses as he looks up in surprise and fear. "G-give me my food back!" He whines, standing up to glare at the bald teenager. The bald teenager just cackles in response and shoves the bread in between his teeth as he darts around the sitting soldiers, the blond brainiac chasing after him.

Levi sips his tea, and watches his girly charge, snorting. "And you say he's the smartest soldier you've ever seen. Erwin, I think you're losing your mind."

The blond commander just smiles in answer, eyes turning grim and serious. "Levi, all joking aside, we've lost a lot of land. And a lot of men."

Levi grimaces and sets down his cup, leaning back against the dirt wall. "I know Erwin. I was planning on advancing tonight with my squadron."

Erwin nods, looking out to the soldiers. "That would be smart. Why don't we plan at HQ along with-"

"Commandant Smith et Chef de Brigade Ackerman! Nous sommes pris dans une embuscade sur le côté nord!" One French soldier shouts, ducking down at the top of the trench borders, gun strapped to his back.

"Shit." Levi hisses. "Three of my men are over there. Eld! Gunther! Gather up the men and bring them back to HQ. I want all of them safe and sound there!"

Gunther and Eld nod before shouting to his charges. Erwin looks to Levi and he grits his teeth.

"Get a medic there Erwin and I'll be there in five." Erwin grabs his arm when he moves to leave.

"And if you die?"

"Tell Petra I'm sorry."

…

A/N: French beta can be found [here.](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4505808/Miriala)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Commandant Smith et Chef de Brigade Ackerman! Nous sommes pris dans une embuscade sur le côté nord!
> 
> Commander Smith and Squad Leader Ackerman! We're being ambushed on the northern side!


	3. The Reality of War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi faces the reality of war yet again when losing some of his men.

He runs after the French soldier, sliding down the side of the wall when the Fritz start shooting at him. Grenadiers duck down as the Fritz fire back, the Riflemen holding the Grenadiers up as they wait in tense silence.

One by one the men fall and Levi grits his teeth, silver eyes cutting around to find his men.

_Jean Kirstein, where are you…_

He finds the horse face soon enough, holding the freckled grenadier upright. Levi nods, crouching down against the ground.

_Two down…where's-_

"Squad Leader, what are you doing here?" Jaeger murmurs in his ear and he jumps slightly, cursing under his breath.

Levi tilts his head to the side, glaring at the German boy. "You tell me, dipshit. It's not like we're being ambushed or anything."

He readies his rifle, looking up at the edge of the trench, body at the ready. Eren follows after him, albeit with a grin.

"Were you worried about me, sir?"

"I swear to God Jaeger, if you-"

"Ils ont passé la frontière! Tirez!" The French shout and he curses, clearing his throat.

_How could I lose focus so easily like that?_

He stands to look over the edge and yells in surprise when his eyes meet the barrel of a gun, a angrier German on the other side.

" _Sterben."_  The German growls and Levi swallows hard, ducking when the soldier shoots.

The bullet grazes his cheek and he falls to the ground, pressing a hand to his bleeding cheek as Eren stands, shooting the German repeatedly without mercy.

"Jaeger! For God's Sake, just stop shooting!" He shouts, curling into a ball when another blow rocks them all a little too close for comfort. Wild shouts start rising and Levi curses, head snapping to the side when he hears Jean shout.

"Marco! Oh God! Someone help Marco! He's been hit!" Jean shouts, voice breaking in unadulterated sorrow.

"Jaeger, I want you to get Kirstein and bring him back to HQ. He's not in his right mind right now." Levi tells Eren before crawling over to the fallen grenadier.

"Kirstein. Get off of him." Levi commands to the sobbing rifleman. Jean looks up, eyes wide and haunted and he curls farther over the wounded man.

"I-I can't…d-do that sir."

"Off of him. Now."

Something in his voice must have snapped Jean out of his stupor because the ashbrown slowly starts to move back, hiccupping slightly as his hand brushes over the freckled man's cheek.

"I want you to go to Jaeger and follow him back. Stay to the ground and don't look at anyone, don't talk to anyone. Understand?"

Kirstein nods and crawls over Levi to meet up with Jaeger. Eren looks at Levi and Levi shoos them away.

"I've told you your orders, soldier. Listen to them."

Eren nods and salutes him before pulling Jean over to the side to keep a watchful eye on him while they head back to HQ. The only secure spot in their section of the trench.

Levi mentally prepares himself to look down at his angelic charge, but nothing could've prepared him for this.

Bodt's entire right side of his face and torso has been completely blown off, brain matter oozing out of the side of his head. His left arm lies limply over his exposed torso and broken fragments of rib and arm bones litter the ground below him.

_He's dead. He was DOA…but…maybe…God Damnit, just maybe I can save him. Get this blood that stains my hands washed off…get it off…get it off…_

"You'll be alright Bodt. Just fine. I'm sorry if this hurts." He gently tells the corpse. With a heave he pulls Bodt's left arm around his neck and over his shoulder, pulling the body up so he can wrap his right arm around his waist.

His heart jolts in plain disgust and fear when his dirtied hand hits something warm, wet, and squishy. Levi swallows down a wave of vomit and plunges forwards into the sea of dying men.

He forces his head up so the stench of rotting corpses and oozing blood doesn't force him to faint or vomit. One man falls dead before him and Levi steps over him with ease, but one of Marco's feet catches on the side of the man and trips Levi, Marco falling on top of the Squad Leader.

This time he can't stop the wave of vomit that comes up fast and Levi turns his head to the side, vomiting and, later, dry heaving as he feels Bodt's intestines slowly fall down onto his side, the open side of his face dampening his uniform with thick, sticky blood.

"Jesus  _Christ_! Oh my  _fucking God_." Levi shouts, burying his head in a mix of vomit, blood, and mud. He grits his teeth and forces himself upright once more, pulling Bodt back up as well.

The two plough forwards with a new sense of urgency and Levi stumbles more than once, head swimming in confusion and unadulterated fear as more and more men fall before him, their screams of pain and cries for their mothers haunting him in a never-ending loop. He cries out when shrapnel hits him square in the forehead, and Levi falls, head screaming in pain. Blood gushes from the wound and hits his tired eyes. He tries to wipe away the blood, but one arm is trapped under Marco's body, the other just too weak to move up.

He looks up, tired, hoping to get a last glimpse of the blue sky before it was tainted red, before he was ultimately killed, and finds himself face to face with a camera, whose flash goes off as they capture his weakest moment for all of the world to [see.](http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/04/03/article-2595837-1CC431B400000578-926_634x459.jpg)

…

Levi stumbles and collapses in front of the doorway of HQ, groaning when Bodt falls on top of him yet again. He pushes the cooling corpse off of him and onto his side and Levi finds himself in the fire of Marco's dulled eye, garish face staring at him, asking him why, why,

_Why did you leave me for the dead? Why did you let me die? I trusted you. I tru-_

"Levi! Someone get a medic!" Erwin shouts and the rest becomes a hazy scene. Jaeger and Arlert run out, as if beckoned by the commander's shout. Armin pushes Jean back inside when the ashbrown tries to see what all the commotion was about and Levi blinks slowly, startled when suddenly those goddamn bright eyes are in front of him, lined with worry and panic.

"-vi…Levi… _Levi_!" Jaeger shouts, shaking him by the shoulders. He coughs hard, forcing himself up onto his elbows as he grabs Jaeger's collar to drag him down to wheeze in his ear.

"They're…coming…get Bodt inside…and get…safe…" He groans, lips brushing against the sun kissed ear.

"I can't do that sir! Your life is in danger as well!" Eren shouts, picking him up quickly as if he weighed nothing.

Then again, he has lost a lot of weight since being in this war. Petra had been sending over some of her homemade cookies and those were filling him up more than the god awful food that the government sent them.

"You brat…get Bodt…he needs…help…" Levi hisses in pain, slightly delirious from the blood loss.

Jaeger turns to show him that the Germans were just over the edge of their last safe haven. Bodt's body lies discarded at the crest of the last leg and Levi's heart lurches painfully. He dragged his body so far…for nothing?

"Marco Bodt is dead sir. You are not." Eren's sharp voice snaps him from his reverie. Levi tilts his head to the side to say something, but all that comes out is vomit instead.

…..

"-stand soldier, but we are literally in a bind right now." Levi wakes up to Erwin's smooth voice, void of all emotion except that of supreme command. "We cannot leave this place until the Germans leave and I have been informing the generals of the American and British squadrons to send backup." His voice pauses when the Fritz shoot the dirt wall surrounding them.

Levi groans and turns to his side, muffling a cry of pain when he hits a torn wound. Suddenly a hand roll him onto his back again and he sighs, forcing his eyes open.

He finds himself in the underground chamber of the HQ, surrounded by his own squadron and Erwin's as well. One of his eyes was bandaged and blood seeps from the bandage on his forehead. The strong-willed German boy looks down at him, worried, and he shoos him away, forcing himself up onto his elbow to look at the men.

There's a tense silence before he speaks.

"H…how many…"

Everyone pauses to look at each other and Erwin clears his throat, speaking up.

"Four for you, five for me."

Levi grits his teeth and looks at the blond commander and squad leader. Erwin stares back at him coolly, gaze never faltering.

"Names."

Erwin looks at Arlert and the shaking blond teenager steps forwards, saluting him before pulling out a sheet of paper.

"Sir, t-today's battle has taken the lives of grenadier Marco Bodt," Here Jean chokes back a sob and Armin falters, continuing when Levi waves a weak hand for him to continue. "Rifleman Gunther Schultz, Rifleman Eld Jinn and Rifleman Oluo Bozado. Included among the wounded are…"

Arlert continues on but Levi doesn't listen anymore, opting to fall back against the cloth covered ground to press his arm to his eyes, gritting his teeth to force the tears back.

"S-sir…" Eren softly murmurs and Levi snaps upright, ignoring the pain, his silver eyes blazing.

"There is so much…I want to say…but I won't…because I am a responsible adult. Give me a piece of paper." He commands the German, and Eren nods, worried, before retrieving a sheet of paper.

Levi ignores the German as he grabs the paper, scooting back against the wall, and ignores his injuries as he writes.

…..

_15, May, 19XX_

_Dear Petra-_

_This note has to be short and sweet, since my life is in perilous danger._

_First off, I apologize for the letter being bloody. It's not my blood. It's one of my men's. And I feel so damn bad for all the innocent men dying under my control. I lost four today. Four._

_I'm such a monster._

_Right now we are forced to stay in HQ, waiting for the damned Americans and British to save us. I've sustained quite a lot of injures, most I didn't even know about._

_When I wake up tomorrow, that'll be a different story._

_I'd like some more of your delicious apple cookies if you could make some for me. The food they give us is basically mud with butter. I wouldn't even be surprised if that was what it was._

_My head hurts so badly from my injuries that I need to cut this off here. It might be awhile before I write again._

_Stay safe._

_I love you with all of my heart. So, so much._

_All my love,_

_Levi Ackerman_

_1st SSgt of the 101st Airborne and rifle squadron_

_...._

_A/N: French beta can be found[here.](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4505808/Miriala)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Ils ont passé la frontière! Tirez!
> 
> They're over the border! Shoot!
> 
> Sterben
> 
> Die


	4. A whisper of lust?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi finds comfort in Eren after the loss of his men. Also, dugout sharing? Thank you rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason the translations from the first chapter keep following after so please ignore them.

_18 June, 19XX_

_Dear Petra-_

_Today was the single most rainiest day we have had since this damned war started. The rain is so bad that the trenches are slowly becoming jail cells and mud holes. Since our part of the trench is right at the end, a lot of our dugouts have been flooded. So guess what that means._

_Yes. We have to double up in our dugouts, along with Erwin’s squadron._

_So I got to double up with the most loveliest person on my squadron._

_Eren. Jaeger._

_Remind me to tell our children to never be like this pain in the ass._

_He snores. All. The. Time._

_And he has kicked me out of my dugout on more than one occasion._

_The bright side? The government won’t send any more men over since we literally have no space._

_My prayers have been answered._

_Ah, the sun has reared its ugly mug so I must start another day with it._

_All my love to you Petra, my dear._

_Levi Ackerman_

_1 st SSgt of the 101st Airborne and rifle squadron_

_……….._

Levi grunts when he is kicked out of his dugout and onto the cold, unforgiving ground below. With a glare to the young German Levi sighs before forcing himself to get to his knees. He tilts his head back and closes his eyes when the sun tickles his surprisingly pale skin.

Levi eventually gets to his feet and slowly trudges over to the water’s edge, close to where his dugout is. He dully looks down the water, sighing deeply. With a deep breath, he readies himself before stepping into muddied water. He grimaces when he foot sinks into the ground and he forces himself onwards before peering into the first dugout.

Marco Bodt’s dugout.

Levi swallows hard and looks around, grabbing a couple of surviving photographs and a ring. Pocketing them in his trusted breast pocket, the ring and photographs rest against his newest letter to Petra. He cracks his neck and trudges on.

Next up was Armin Arlert’s dugout, where he grabs a couple books and photographs. Same goes for Jean Kirstein’s  and before he knows it, Levi is in front of the terror of his life’s dugout.

Eren Jaeger surprisingly doesn’t have much in his dugout. Just a key necklace and one photograph that shows a younger Jaeger hugging a pretty woman who looks an awful lot like him.

_Perhaps she is his mother?_

Levi turns around after he gets to the last dugout, plus the water was up to his chest, and slowly heads back to his sleeping charges.

Changing into a new uniform, Levi wakes up his men with a gentle shout, more like threatening them all that they won’t see another day if they don’t get up in two minutes, and waits at the edge of their section of the trench.

When all the men were ready, Levi called their attention to him for their morning roll call and a special announcement.

Crossing his arms, Levi takes in each of his men. “As you all know, the recent rains have forced a lot of you out of your dugouts.”

This is met with some grumbling and complaining. Levi silences them all with a glare.

“I know it’s shitty, but war itself is a shitty subject. Get over yourselves. Anyways, since I was so _nicely_ woken up early this morning,” Eren finds himself under the glares of many angry men. A tired Levi meant hell for the rest of them. “I took it upon myself to go to each of your dugouts and collect what could be saved. Come forwards when I call your name. Armin Arlert.”

Arlert steps forwards and Levi hands him the photographs and books. Armin thanks him graciously and Levi smiles slightly, patting his shoulder as he sends him off to breakfast.

The other couple are met with tearful smiles and many thanks and suddenly, Levi finds himself alone facing the bright eyed German.

“Anything for me?” Eren asks, thick accented voice uncharacteristically soft.

“As a matter of fact, Jaeger, I have two things.” Levi holds up the necklace and the photograph and Eren’s eyes go wide.

“Y-you…found them…” Eren steps forwards slowly and takes the objects in shaking hands, swallowing hard.

Levi nods and smiles faintly, patting Eren’s shoulder softly. “Take all the time you need Jaeger, and I’ll meet you at breakfast.”

“Levi.” Eren’s voice stops him in his tracks, and Levi turns to face him, questioning.

Jaeger smiles softly and slips the necklace on. “Thank you.”

……….

“Ce sont les choses de Marco Bodt. Son corp est - il encore ici?” Levi asks the French doctor, looking around the makeshift hospital in masked disgust.

Armless soldiers lay in cots, nurses running around to give the suffering soldiers some form of relief.

Actually that’s a lie.

The nurses are trying to keep the soldiers from being eaten alive by the damned flies that swarm in the hundreds.

The doctor nods and gestures over to a plain pine box. “Son corp est ici. Placez ses affaires dans le cercueil et nous le scellerons lorsque vous aurez terminé. Comment vous sentez - vous, Chef de Brigade?”

Levi shrugs off his concern, keeping his sharp gaze on the casket. “Sa va. Je me repose avant que les Allemands ne nous attaquent encore.”

The doctor speaks with him for a moment longer and Levi walks away mid-sentence. The doctor takes no offense to it, however, since that’s how Levi was, and to be honest, the soldier was distracted with something more pressing than the doctor’s mindless chatter.

Pressing his sleeve to his face, Levi slowly moves past the bodies, gaze shifting past the corpses and pine caskets that line the dirt walls.

_How garish that the only pure smell in this death house is the caskets…it actually smells **good**_ **.**

Levi’s thin lips curl into a grimace as he looks at the bodies of Eld, Gunther, and Oluo. He walks past them, swallowing hard. He couldn’t look at them now, not when this trip was difficult already.

Two nurses follow after him and open the casket for Levi. He nods his thanks and looks down at his charge before looking away. He places the picture in the breast pocket of Marco’s uniform and slides the ring on Marco’s ring finger.

Saluting the fallen soldier with a clenched fist over his chest, the other resting on the small of his back, he nods and turns around, content on marching out of the hospital. The nurses and doctor’s salute him and once he is outside, Levi looks up to the skies and breathes out slowly, sliding down the wall.

He looks around the quiet trench and buries his face in his hands, no tears falling down; no he was too strong for that. But…regret was setting in. And guilt. A shit ton of guilt.

Levi blinks slowly, expression impassive when the German boy sits down next to him, a steaming cup of coffee in his tanned hands. Eren hands it wordlessly over to him and he takes it gratefully. The two sit in silence and Eren tilts his head back to look at the sky. And starts to sing.

Levi watches him quietly, eyes closing as Eren’s rough voice softly spills out a melody of a soulful, caged bird.

_“Day by day, we have lost our edge. Don't you know? Forgotten is the life we led. Now it seems you don't care what the risk is. The peaceful times have made us blind._

_“Can't look back. They will not come back. Can't be afraid. It's time after time. Once again, I'm hiding in my room. The peaceful times have made us blind._

_“So you can't fly if you never try. You told me...Oh, Long ago. But you left the wall, outside the gate. So more than ever, it's real…”_ Eren’s voice slowly fades out, marred by silent tears. Levi tilts his head up to look at the German and the two are at a standstill before they lurch forwards as if an invisible string pulled them together.

Silver and piercing green eyes slide shut as their owner’s lips meet in a passionate kiss, all of their pent up frustration and lust bubbling to the surface as their lips meld into a dangerous dance. Levi pulls back after a breathless moment, biting at Eren’s bottom lip.

“You shitty brat…leave my heart alone…”

Eren merely grins and mockingly salutes him.

....

A/N: French beta can be found [here.](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4505808/Miriala)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Ce sont les choses de Marco Bodt. Son corp est - il encore ici?
> 
> These are Marco Bodt’s things. Is his body still here?
> 
> Son corp est ici. Placez ses affaires dans le cercueil et nous le scellerons lorsque vous aurez terminé. Comment vous sentez - vous, Chef de Brigade?
> 
> His body is here. Place the belongings in his casket and we’ll seal it after you’re done. How are you feeling, Squad Leader?
> 
> Sa va. Je me repose avant que les Allemands ne nous attaquent encore.
> 
> I’m fine. Resting up before the Germans attack again.

**Author's Note:**

> Translations:
> 
> Francis, je tiens à ce que cette letter soit envoyée quand le soleil se levera demain. Compris?
> 
> Francis, I want this letter sent when the sun rises its ugly face tomorrow. Understand?
> 
> Il y a des hommes qui se rendent malades, debout dans la pluie en attendant que ces putains d'Allemands se bougent le cul, et vous deux êtes ici, à essayer d'entrer dans le froc de l'autre parce que vous êtes tous les deux trop égoïstes! Sortez de là et allez aider ceux qui en ont besoin!
> 
> Sortir et vous aider!
> 
> There are men who are getting sick, standing out in the rain as they waiting for one fucking German to move and you two are in here, trying to get into the other's pants because you both are too damn selfish!
> 
> Get out there and help!


End file.
